areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
