Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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