Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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