He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
