this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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