she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize