Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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