Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
