You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
