Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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