Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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