"it" just moved
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
