i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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