My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
