pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
