don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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