Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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