U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
