I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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