OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
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