All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize