I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize