Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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