He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
