There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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