I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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