What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
