Screwed.edu
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
