I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
