At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
