i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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