I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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