woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
