i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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