Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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