Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it's great music for shaving your balls
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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