Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
