And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
