My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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