so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
