Don't you send me to vm
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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