I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
