it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
