Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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