I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
not ubering you a puppy
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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