Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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