zippers are such a cool invention
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
