Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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