i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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