you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize