Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
