I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
