Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize