I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize