so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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