How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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