No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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