every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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