The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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