READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
